Around the World: On the Train to Bangkok

January 19, 1992

"We're on the train to Bangkok, aboard the Thailand Express..." (Passage to Bangkok, Rush)


Well, it's not the Thailand Express, more like the State Railway of Thailand.  Thailand has the most intriguing dialect of English.  There's a sign under the window by my seat that says:

I'll do my best.

The toilets on the train are interesting.  The seat (which I'm not sure is actually meant to be sat on), is more like an elevated platform at a height just below my knees with a hole in the middle.  It takes a great deal of co-ordination to hang onto a bar with one hand while squatting over a target that seems to be in constant and unpredictable motion.

The train should be arriving in Bangkok around 6am tomorrow.  I have a berth to sleep in, which is just barely large enough to not be claustrophobic, complete with curtains to enable a little privacy.  Harvey is having a conversation with a guy passing through our car while I climb up into my bed.  I can't make out much of the conversation between them, other than Harvey is telling the guy that he is traveling with his wife and daughters.

Next thing I know, the curtain to my berth opens and I'm staring at this guy's face.  I ask what he wants, thinking he might be a train employee asking for my ticket.  He reaches into the berth toward me and I am able to push his hand away, only to realize he is reaching in with the other.  I spit out an earful of profanity and insults and inflict a few bruises from what appendages I can free to deter his groping.

Perhaps it was seeing me pounce out of the berth, or the realization that I am almost a foot taller than him, or my expression and stance that can only mean further harm is imminent.  More likely, it was something outside of the vision enclosing rage that encouraged the guy to leave.  Harvey appears quite amused as Anna explains to me what had just happened.  The guy had offered Harvey a few thousand baht for his daughters.  Harvey, pointed to my berth and said, "You can have the one that's up there."

There is no love for the human male in this car at the moment, and Harvey doesn't understand why.  Bangkok cannot come fast enough.

• ¤ •

"I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine.
One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble;
Not much between despair and ecstasy.
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble;
Can't be too careful with your company.
I can feel the Devil walking next to me."

~Murray Head

Around the World: Not For Sale

January 18, 1992

I made a small fortune, for Thailand, cutting hair on the beach today.  All it took was one brave (or desperate) person to consent and I spent the afternoon answering repeated demands for my hair cutting services. 

Image by Stardust Astronette

Eager for an alternative to the beach, I was thrilled to discover the hotel has a pool table.  Tracey and I were in the middle of a game when two Thai guys came in and demanded the table, saying it was their time to play.  Their attitude irked me, that we should just end our half finished game because they showed up?  Half joking, I cockily suggested, "Winner gets the table."

They laughed out loud, and one of the guys said, "Okay."

Tracey muttered something unintelligible under her breath and left, leaving me alone with these two guys.  I fully expected to soon be handed my cocky attitude, which may very well have been the case if the guy I was playing wasn't so inebriated.  He could barely line up the cue ball, and it wasn't long into the game that his friend walked out on him.  When I sunk the last ball, I put my cue down and planned to make a polite departure, but my opponent just picked up his drink and walked out of the room without a word.

Later in the evening, I joined Tracey and her parents in the hotel's karaoke bar and discovered it's that and a bit more.  Even though the bar contained tourists and locals, I noticed that only Thai girls go up to sing.  From where I was sitting, I could see some men sitting at a table chatting and exchanging money.  When the song ended, the singer was greeted by one of the men and the "couple" would leave through a door beside the stage.

One of the men passed by our table and Harvey volunteered Tracey and I to sing.  The man gave Harvey a peculiar look and walked away without any more acknowledgement.  Harvey turned to Anna and slurred, "I think the girls should go up and sing.  Maybe they'll make enough to pay for us to stay an extra night or two!"

Anna shot him a disgusted look and excused herself, suggesting that Tracey and I should get a good night's rest before the train trip back to Bangkok tomorrow.

• ¤ •

"Guess that's thirty-one pieces of silver you've got now, huh? Sleep well, Judas."

~Mark Millar

Around the World: Small Pleasures

January 16, 1992

Another day spent hanging out on the beach.  It was such a refreshing change to get away from the hotel yesterday and see some of the island.  There's transportation into a nearby town, which is basically a pick-up truck with a canopy covering. The town is full of touristy shopping: Thai knock-offs of Rolex watches, Gucci bags and copyright infringed music, except Thailand doesn't recognize international copyright laws, and other than a few pieces of clothing, there's very little worth purchasing.

Fisherman's Village near Bo Phut Beach

I'm looking forward to getting back to Bangkok.  Harvey and Tracey prefer to spend their days sitting on the beach drinking for hours.  Harvey is most unpleasant company by mid afternoon, when Anna makes an attempt to encourage him into the hotel room for a sobering nap.  By then, she is sufficiently frustrated, which ends up instigating some sort of family feud.  It's usually a great time for me to watch the waves, while playing with the stray puppies I've befriended on the beach.

Photo by Sharon Schneider

Fortunately, I found a recent Lonely Planet guidebook for India in town for $6.  From what little I've read so far, it's money well spent.  Not only is it pleasantly distracting from the daily drunken tirades, but I am getting the sense from the traveler's hints and tips that it's a place that requires some preparation.

• ¤ •

"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."

~Groucho Marx