Saturday, September 29, 2007

Thank you for calling Tide

A few days ago, I'm doing laundry and come to a load of kids' clothes, blankets and such. So I load up the washing machine and run the water and get my bottle of TideFree to add. Except the bottle is empty. No worries, though because I have a brand new bottle. Just have to unscrew the cap.

But the cap doesn't unscrew. It's been hermetically sealed by forces unknown to the common everyday domestic engineer and I lack the necessary strength to separate cap from container. So I, of course, fall back on plan B - the resource of women everywhere who, for generations have asked hubby to get the lid off.

But, Erik also lacks the necessary strength to separate cap from container so while man-with-a-plan goes searching for implements of destruction, I decide to call Tide for the combination of required skills to open my bottle of detergent.

Being a large corporation, Tide has one of those fandangled answering systems to properly route your call to the proper department. While I'm waiting for the option "If you can't seem to get into your detergent, press #" to come up, I'm trying to wriggle a butter knife (because sharp objects and I have this ongoing bloodthirsty relationship) between the cap and container.

"If you would like more information on our products, press 1"

I'm sure I can get this knife in here...

"If you would like to know where to purchase Tide products, press 4"

Just a little bit more, I think I'm making progress...

Too much pressure and not enough counterforce results in said butter knife skipping across my middle and ring finger ... ouch ... blood everywhere.

"If this is a medical emergency, press 9"

Well... It is now!

Um, yeah, hi... I seem to have amputated part of my hand trying to open this bottle of TideFree. Do you want to call the ambulance or should I?

Erik emerges with the proper implements of destruction to separate the cap from container and pours the contents into the empty bottle while I'm upstairs bandaging my wounds. The laundry process was resumed and in 4-6 weeks, I'll get a coupon in the mail.

Thank you for calling Tide.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Truth and Knowledge

A friend of the family prepared a very special gift for the kids.

He brought the kids' birth info to his Hindu spiritual leader who figured out their Hindu "horoscope". I don't mean horoscope as we understand it here in the west. The date and time of birth is used to calculate the name of a Hindu god or ideal. Pursuing the qualities governed by that particular deity will bring the child a lifetime of good karma.

A gift of good karma.  Wow! 

For Ty:
- the Hindu word for truth.

"The Hindu tradition encourages Hindus to seek spiritual and moral truth wherever it might be found, while acknowledging that no creed can contain such truth in its fullness and that each individual must realize this truth through his or her own systematic effort. Our experiences, and our dialogue with others - especially with enlightened individuals - provide various means of testing our understanding of spiritual and moral truth.

Although Hindu scripture, based on the insights of Hindu sages and seers, serves primarily as a guidebook, truth comes to us through direct consciousness of the divine or an ultimate reality. In other religions this ultimate reality is known as God. Hindus refer to it by many names, but the most common name is Brahman."

For Erin:
- the Hindu goddess of knowledge, music and creative arts.

"In Hinduism, Saraswati represents intelligence, consciousness, cosmic knowledge, creativity, education, enlightenment, music, the arts, eloquence and power. Hindus worship her not only for 'academic knowledge', but for 'divine knowledge' essential to achieve liberation from the suffering involved in being subject to the cycle of repeated death and reincarnation."

What a fascinating gift. Thank you, kind soul.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Welcoming Ty and Erin

After two home pregnancy tests that returned a result I can only surmise meant "maybe", I was officially confirmed pregnant at 8 weeks. At 11 weeks I had my first ultrasound and the very first thing I saw were two heads. It was a good thing I was already lying down. The technician took a few measurements before inviting my husband, Erik in. I watched Erik's face while the technician showed him the first image I saw. In a moment, I saw his excitement turn to terror as the colour drained from his head. I looked at the technician and said, "That man needs to sit down!"

Being pregnant with twins was great - every month I had to have an ultrasound so I have pictures of my babies in my belly every four weeks since I was 4 months pregnant. Watching them grow was like witnessing a miracle taking place right before my eyes.

I was told by my doctor that I would be getting an epidural. I had heard more than enough accounts of epidurals gone bad - (being frozen from the waist up, being frozen on one side, severe headaches). My doctor assured me that if anything did go wrong, I was in a hospital - the best place possible. She then booked our delivery date around the schedule of the chief of anesthesiology.  I was nervous, but I felt a little better.

Erik drove me to the hospital to be induced on Feb 28, 2006 at 7:30 a.m. I was induced at 8 a.m. and contractions started shortly after. The epidural arrived two hours later. Erik and I distracted ourselves with conversation and games until he went home for lunch and I had a nap.

I was finally fully dilated at 8 p.m. and 45 minutes later, I met my son, Ty Joshua. He was covered in goop and blood and I couldn't wait to hold him. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The nurses almost had to pry him from my arms to clean him up.

Four minutes later, another beautiful baby covered in goop and blood arrived on my belly - my daughter, Erin Dawn.

Erin didn't get to stay with me for long. Her breathing was irregular and rapid so she spent some time with the neonatal specialist. Erik stayed with her until her breathing settled down and she turned pink. Erin spent the night in the NICU and Ty slept beside my bed. I can't really think of an emotion to describe what I felt that night, staring at Ty in awe of what had just happened.

I was a mom.

I had just doubled the size of our family.

Erin joined us the next morning. The nurse who brought her to my room picked her up and handed her to me.  She looked right at me and threw up all over both of us. This was my official christening into the new and unfamiliar world of motherhood.